You’re in Kenya if…

I wrote this on my plane ride from Nairobi to Johannesburg and I am finally posting it:

I’ve decided to compile a list of things that let you know you’re in the lovely continent of Africa.

You know you’re in Kenya if….

1. Waking up to roosters, children crying, cats screeching, dogs whaling, men speaking on microphones, and the train howling seems normal.
2. You’ve been ripped off more than five times on a matatu, due to your skin color.
3. You’ve been asked, “How Are You? ….fine!” by multiple children on a daily basis.
4. You’ve had to question whether your water has been boiled or not.
5. You’re stomach has altogether quit on your new starchy and unfamiliar diet.
6. You’ve been to the hospital multiple times (at least for our team).
7. You see leftover weaves on the ground. Everywhere.
8. Children randomly grab your hand and start walking with you.
9. You have to clean your feet at least twice a day.
10. Kids rolling tires down the street and walking home alone at age 4 is a normal sight.
11. Your power goes out often and for long periods of time.
12. You suddenly want to treat yourself to chocolate any time you see it.
13. Chickens, goats, cats, and dogs in the road is customary.
14. You’re only milk option is whole.
15. Margarine is now called fat spread.
16. KFC looks like a 5 star restaurant.
17. You never have a seatbelt, and probably never will.
18. You can walk fifteen feet to get dinner at a market.
19. A sign saying, “free wifi” gets you excited.
20. You’ve learned the art of hand washing everything.
21. Most of your schedule is hours off due to African time. 3pm suddenly means 5… Or maybe 6.
22. You’ve been peed on by a kid.
23. Sharpening knives and killing chickens in front of children doesn’t phase them.
24. Random people point at you and shout “mzungu” or call you a “how are you”
25. You have to carry toilet paper with you to all your work sites.
26. Children are always trying to twist your hair, pinch your freckles and examine your skin.
27. Seeing monkeys and feeding them on your way home is an average day.
28. A matatu has no seating limit. It has 14 seats but can fit at least 20 people in it (I’ve been that 20th person multiple times.)
29. Children will give you any and all they have (including material from their only sweater) just to show how much they love you.
30. The kindest and most genuine people take the time to get to know you and love you despite the cultural differences.
31. Just sitting with an orphaned children on your lap giggling and trusting you brings the deepest joy.
32. Children coming up and hugging as if they’ve known you their whole life.
33. You see the most beautiful representation of His Kingdom and complete happiness with no material possessions, but the incomparable richness of Jesus in the African’s lives.

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